This being said, there is a consistency I am finding from friends to family. They are all asking me one question, that question is... , "WHAT1?"
They do not think they are being rude but their facial expressions are quite astonishing. Sometimes, it would be awesome to record their expressions when they cannot understand me. Like today, I was babysitting and my friends son who is now one years old reminded me of that expression today. His mother opened the door while he was standing, propping himself up with the sofa. The sound of the key turning in the door changed his expression immediately from happy baby to scared to death baby. His hands came rushing my way and he looked desperate for someone to save him from his confusion. (ok, so i may be exaggerating a little but...)
When I confront my family and friends regarding this issue I hear; "You are too sensitive." I want to say, " Oh, so loosing my ability to speak in one year, and having people not understand me, makes me highly sensitive. Sorry you cannot cope with my sensitivity but, I have to cope with loosing my ability to speak," But of course, this is not a social norm, or polite to scream that into someones face when they are constantly blurting: "WHAT!?"
One of my downfalls seems to be that I am too strong. I do not like to be the weakest link. I was raised to keep your private situations at home and put on a good face when you are not home. I realize that I am going through quite the experience at the moment but, in actuality I do not think any one cares.
When my friends want to hang out, they don't want the sad sob stories on how I cannot cope. They want the fun me, the exciting me.
When I go to work, they don't want a worker who is crying or refusing to try and communicate. No, they want the hard, strong worker who is willing and able to combat new work challenges. They want someone who can communicate effectively to get the job done.
Since I am "so strong," those around me forget how difficult it is to live with this condition. I understand, there are far worse things that could be happening to me at this moment, but it doesn't excuse the difficulty that I am experiencing. I also, do not like people treating me like a baby, but allowing me some sensitivity would be nice once in a while.
For example, I often ask my friends to order for me when we go to restaurants to avoid this: "WHAT!?" phenomenon. But, they forget my order, they ask me in front of the wait staff, "What did you want?" or they just allow for that marvelous moment of silence when the wait staff comes over.
It would be nice for those that I dine with to say, (mind you, without me asking), hey would you like me to order for you? What do you want?.... aahhh it would be like a breath of fresh air. But, unfortunately, my struggles are clouded by my strength.